Fixing My Mind
Setting my affection where it matters most. Sharing my affection with you...
So I sat there,at the table after coming in from a Christmas night out with the women from my church, shaking my head, annoyed with myself, the situation, that now, my squeaky clean licence was about to be sullied again with three new endorsements. Just pulling out from the slip road onto the A40 Westbound from the Hanger Lane Gyratory, yeah, you know the bit…when BLINK BLINK!!! Those flashbulbs caught my Grand Voyager. That was definitely for me!!! There was hardly anyone else, it was 1am.
Hadn’t I only just been rid of my last set, under two years ago? This would be my third set. Thankfully my points didn’t overlap. My first points were from a traffic signal offence on the North Circular Road, out partying with friends just days after being given the keys to my first car in the heady days of youth. Surely now, a ‘big woman’ with so many to care for, I should be a bit more responsible than those days?
I waited for THAT envelope to arrive bearing the familiar Met Police Traffic Enforcement insignia on the front. I half-mockingly lamented my mistake, half-wishing they’d forget about me and go after some ‘real’ criminals instead. But still I couldn’t get away from the fact that…the law is the law…and I’d broken it….47mph in a 40 zone. It still bothered me so much that I would now have to have three new points on my brand new licence which I’d just had renewed, with my new photo and new address and EVERYTHING!! So, like a stubborn toddler I procrastinated for three of the four weeks in which to send back the ‘Notice of Intended Prosecution’
Out of all the times that I’d had traffic prosecutions,for some reason this one seemed to really ‘hurt’ my heart the most. Am I looking for a driving job? No. Am I in any gainful employment at all? No. Nor am I willing to be or likely to be in the coming months or years. So what would a few points matter anyway? Big deal. Everyone has them, right? Insurers barely bat an eyelid to three points. I searched my heart to see if I was more annoyed about being caught, or about breaking the speed limit itself. The days rolled into weeks after I sent back the form. In the time it took for the police to reply, though, the filter through which I see all of life had a chance to kick in, the filter of my faith and relationship with God. The police envelope had an interesting surprise inside, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the contents out to Phil…okay so this time instead of a flat £60 fine and 3 penalty points on my licence….the police…are offering me the chance…to attend a Speed Awareness Scheme course for £97…within the next three months!!
Part of me was like YES!!! PRAISE GOD!!!! I CAN STILL HAVE A CLEAN LICENCE !!! GOD IS SO GOOOOD!! SO MERCIFUL!!!!! Where do I sign???? But then the cynical part of me was like, Wow!! You mean you can buy yourself out of trouble by paying forty quid more and going for a slap on the wrist? So I almost took the points, but quickly changed my mind and decided to accept it as an offer of mercy. You see, in my life, I thank God, that He doesn’t let me get away with anything, but lovingly chastens me and wants to show me a better way. I would be getting some much needed education and I would still get to keep my shiny new licence.
So here’s why I’m writing today. I attended the Speed Awareness Scheme course today and it TOTALLY opened my eyes, and heart, to the reality of why we have speed limits. I think one of the things I genuinely didn’t know was that it is ILLEGAL to operate a mobile phone while driving I mean, (like,REALLY?) YES! EVEN USING A HANDS FREE/CAR KIT while driving is unlawful. In a collision situation it can be quickly ascertained that you were on the phone while driving. That is all the courts need in order to prosecute. It is seen as a distraction to be taking a call, whether using your hands or not.
AND its like God was showing me a whole lot of other stuff too! Not sure what everyone else got from it LOL. But to round off, I’ll just share a few insights…
I remember the uneasiness around the waiting room as we each signed in and registered. Because of our offences, our name was on a long list, which we then had to sign. We were…the guilty. Old people, young people, short people, tall people, black people, white people, Asian, Arab, Eastern European, Far East, you name it. All. Waiting for our sin to be addressed. Do you see what I’m ‘driving’ at yet?
And yet, as the course director started his interactive seminar, the comments and excuses started to roll:
“Speed cameras are not the answer, everyone knows you just slow down for them and speed up again when you’ve crossed the lines”
We humans are truly a twisted bunch, that when laws are made for our own good, safety and longevity, we seek to break them and then brag about it.
We excuse ourselves by saying ‘everybody is doing it!’ Of course, the person who said this felt comfortable in a room where we were all equals - I daresay, even the director has offended before. But at the Throne, will you be able to say, ’ But everybody else does it?’?
Another one was…
“I don’t see why the speed limit is 30mph on xxxx road, I think i should be 40”
Reminded me of how we treat God’s laws - we even try to dictate how best things should run!! Hmmm….Arrogant as well as twisted!
“Why don’t they put bigger speed limit signs at the roadside? It’s not fair!”
And I like the answer that the director gave to this, he said ‘I don’t know,how far do you think you need to be able to see? How big does a sign need to be? Should you be on the road if you can’t see the signs?’
Most people know that the speed limit on most urban roads is 30mph unless otherwise stated, but sometimes we, myself included, make up our own rules as to what it should be. If in doubt, 30 is safest.
When I heard that excuse, I was reminded of the packaging on the side of cigarette boxes in recent years. SMOKING KILLS. Has THAT really caused people not to smoke? Did it help me when I was addicted to 20 a day, many years ago? Nope. Did we all heed the safe sex campaigns - I mean…EVERY time? Do we all have a working smoke alarm etc…? Would larger signs really work if the sinful heart is unwilling to change?
Another thing I heard…
“Speed cameras are just a money-spinner for the government.”
Again, here is sinful humanity cursing the very thing that is sent to help them.
Apparently it costs the government and all the various agencies involved in the aftermath £1,428,000 every time one person is killed on the roads due to speed.
It beggars belief then, why there must be atleast 4 Killed or Serious Injured (KSI) incidents at a specific road before a Safety Camera is installed at a cost of £20k-£30k each.
Someone else said:
“I was only 7 mph over the limit” (37mph in a 30 zone)
We saw that statistically the survival rates between a person hit by a car travelling at 35mph and at 30mph is nearly halved. We were shown slides of a real crash site involving an 8 year old boy on an electric scooter and a car travelling at 39mph. I have an eight year old son, too…His black trainers almost simultaneously came off somewhere along the skid. We were told that often clothing that would normally be tightly secured to you, like shoes and rings come off in a crash situation because in an effort to survive, the blood in the body ‘shrinks’ to reduce blood loss…He died after his head hit the door/windscreen frame (the strongest part of the car) and was dragged twenty feet.
Like it or not, we humans hate being ruled, even when it is for our good. I am obviously moved by what I saw and heard today but I believe I’ve been granted the gift of a genuine change of heart…a reformation, a repentance, if you will, in my driving. Fixing my mind, I guess.
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1
In my household, my husband and I have developed a new tradition that we as a family learn a new verse of scripture every fortnight or so, by reciting it after we give thanks for our meal. A hungry belly and the delicious aroma of freshly cooked brown stew chicken can make this seem quite a tedious ritual at times, but we’re reminded that it’s not by bread alone that we live but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God!
But this memory verse is really speaking volumes right now. I guess that washing those pee-saturated bed sheets for the gazillionth time or wiping the smelliest, messiest nappy disaster or chasing a writhing, wriggling two year old with a sick bucket is the least I could do. That’s basic isn’t it? Parenting doesn’t even scratch the surface of the service I should render to God. When I consider the poop God has wiped off my life, I need not start to congratulate myself on what I do each day, nor expect a medal from men. Don’t get me wrong, nor do I serve out of guilt, Christians are FREED from guilt and condemnation. But I try to keep in mind ‘God’s mercies’ - even that I’ve been allowed to be alive again today, let alone to have been given the gift of eternal life through my saviour, Jesus Christ! I’m trying to cultivate a deep sense of gratitude at what God has done for me. When I put down my expectations and entitlements and are instead grateful instead of grumbling, only then does the power, virtue and ‘grace’ of God flow out of me. Service becomes a joyful privilege.
We are called to serve one another in love, and as I seek to have the demeanour and faithfulness of a good servant, I try to lower my tone, to sweeten it, to relinquish my ‘right’ to feel offense or affront, to be patient, to not complain or murmur, but in all things to trust my Heavenly Father who is seeking to conform me to the image of Christ.
I get it wrong most days, most of the time, but I’m better than I was and I’m still getting better, praise God! My home life is the main thing God is using to train me and the rest of family to become more like Him, through serving one another. Some days, as we all joyfully clear the table and fight over whose turn it is to wipe up, we burst into a spontaneous worship jam (with the kids attempting 3 part harmony) as we scrape the food off the plates, Grace really makes our messy lives look beautiful.
But now my heart is called outwards again…to minister. In song, in worship, to teach and encourage my younger sisters in the faith, to the ones whose marriage isn’t doing what it says on the tin, to the drunk lady down the street, to the local children who love to congregate on my front lawn to play footie with my children, to children in far away lands who couldn’t dream of the (materially) blessed life we live, to the lost, to the hurting and broken. Something in me is yearning and excited to serve, to ‘go’, to be ‘sent’ but I know not where. We’ll just pray, take each day as it is granted and see. One thing I know is, God is definitely stirring something in me that is new and fresh - and even with the little strength, gifts or talent I have, the full extent of it must be realised, for His glory.
Really, anything God commissions us to do is the least we could do. Lord help us to see EVERY task as a PRIVILEGE!!
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. Psalm 84:10
I’m freed to serve.
‘you sure about this Mummy?’
Hello fellow humans,
How are you? Or should I say, Whose are you?
My name’s Lisa Mayers. Some of you may know me, some not. Hopefully anyone stopping by here can see another side to the sister/ wife/ mumoffive/ homemaker/ teacher/ singer/ songwriter/ worshipperofYAHWEH than they already know.
I kinda feel like now’s the time to open up a lil window into my life, once again. So…here goes! Just to warn you/reassure you I won’t be weighing down your blog feeds with random stuff every day or even every week, but when I do, I’ll try to make it interesting, I promise. x
